Jumping in Puddles

rain
This picture makes me happy.

What an emotional week it has been. A rollercoaster really, one with lots of drops and peaks, but only if you look for them. It has been a week of great self-reflection and indecision.

A friend who has two little boys the same age as mine, whose oldest goes to school with my oldest, did karate and who play together had a life changing morning a few days when she was airlifted out of our city due to a brain hemorrhage. Three days later she underwent brain surgery, which thankfully has been called a success, however it will take several months for her to be back on her feet again and “rehabilitated.” That could have been me. We send our kids to the same school, are part of the same club, have playdates with our kids, laugh about life. That could have been me…it’s difficult to process.

I’m so thankful she’s going to be alright. She is alive and will be able to raise her children and love her husband, but her life will never be the same. And neither will mine. I’ve had numerous people around me fall gravely ill, die or become involved in terrible accidents and while those instances have always made me step back and tell myself to appreciate what I have and love those I love even more…this one threw me for a loop. I think I’ve fairly appreciative and always give back when I can, however there is still more appreciation and respect, for life, that I can improve upon. I want to take more deep, meaningful breaths than short, shallow ones. I’ve been more patient with my kids this week because what if I didn’t get to see them every day? I can’t and don’t even want to imagine that. I just have to love…to love my husband, kids and family more because what they say is true…you just never know.
And then tonight…preparing for a golf tournament for a family friend who is losing his battle to cancer. He is supposed to be there Sunday and it doesn’t look like he’s going to make it. To the golf course that is, and not much longer after that unfortunately. While his fate has seemingly been sealed for several months now the last two weeks have been a rapid descent. It’s heartbreaking to see. Here my husband and I have been coordinating this whole event and I couldn’t even manage to give him a hug tonight because upon seeing him I instantly began crying so instead of making it into a “thing” I simply turned the other way and exited. I couldn’t do it. I hope I don’t regret not giving him a hug tonight. It could have very well been the last one.

The peaks this week have been things which are always there…the sound of my youngest calling for me in the morning, the sweet smile of my oldest hiding something he wants me to find, my husband’s eyes as he looks at me…those are peaks worth climbing to reach. I know I will fail at times, but I trying to keep this in mind. The best peaks in life are often some of the smallest things which make the biggest impact.

Sometimes in the whirl of the bright lights and flashy fun you have to slow down and step back to remember that the beauty of life lies in the simplest of things…like jumping in puddles.

Reading is necessary for writing. The more you read the better a writer you will become. I am a firm believer of this these days.

I’ve been devouring novels like bean and cheese burritos (one of my favorite foods) and suddenly the words and ideas have been flowing. Some of these have been great, while others are a bit depressing, like that the current state of my next novel, A Life – dismal. It’s not my style and I’m trying but we’ll see what everyone thinks. It feels a bit forced. We’ll see how I can finish it to make this book better. Honestly, I’m much more excited about the rest of the projects I have planned for the year…like my sequel to Sleeping in the Morgue.

Who knows what will happen in the coming year but I am trying to be as open-minded as possible and remembering to take a deep breath before I allow things to get to me. It’s difficult, but no one said change was easy.

I recently read great books;

Boulevard by Stephen Jay Schwartz

Smart Mouth Waitress by Dalya Moon

Caught Up in Us by Lauren Blakely

Boulevard is intense but by far the most interesting protagonist I’ve read in a long time. Smart Mouth Waitress is fun if you enjoy YA sass. Caught Up in Us is an easy, enjoyable read for YA and NA fans.

What have you read lately? Anything recommendations?

 

https://jennifertressen.net/2014/05/13/365/